I've Learned To Let Go...

I am so very proud of my accomplishment. All Justin wanted for his family birthday party was a cake. I must admit that since going gluten/casein-free, I don't make cakes for him because they never taste good and there's no way to make them look good.

It is very hard for me to make a cake if it doesn't look just the way I like it. Here's an example of the kind of cakes I typically make...

So I got to my baking of this GFCF cake for Justin and immediately realized it was going to be a disaster. Instead of throwing it away {oh, I was sooooo tempted}, a little voice kept telling me

"Justin won't care.

He just wants a cake."

I am so proud of myself and my

non-creation!

And the best part--

Look at Justin's reaction

He couldn't be happier

He's so proud of his cake

Guess what???

It tasted better than any other cake I've made

I kid you not!

Bittersweet Birthdays!

For the last few years, Justin's birthday has been a little hard for me to truly celebrate "Melissa Style". I want to, but then I am secretly saddened about this moment also.

I am excited he's one year older and I want to treat him like a king on his birthday. But as each year passes, that's one year that went by without Justin being fully recovered from Autism.

He's now 8. In lots of ways, he is truly 8, but he has the impulsivity of a toddler...{STILL}, and it's wearing me OUT.

I called a dear friend of mine the morning of Justin's birthday (whose child also has Autism) and she told me it was normal for me to feel happy, yet sad during his birthday and to remember that even though they may be subtle, there are always areas that our children have improved each year.

I know this...but I needed to hear it from someone else.

How can I not celebrate this sweet faced little boy's birthday? He has come such a long way and I am always seeing signs of victory in him. I love you little man!

Pumpkin Traditions

They know the drill

Find a PUMPKIN

Plop on TOP

Get your picture taken

a MILLION different ways

Once mom is SATISFIED

Go on your merry way to

find your FAVORITE pumpkin

Ride the TRACTOR

And hold the cute CHICKS

(not girls...yet)

Gotta Love The School Pics

JAYCE'S school picture

{FIRST GRADE}

was taken right after SUMMER.

He's sporting the

SURFER LOOK...

JUSTIN'S school picture {SECOND GRADE}

Is probably one of my favorites, DESPITE

not getting him a haircut

(notice the HAIR WAVE)...

He Really Will Eat Anything

I often wonder if God had been preparing me just a little when it comes to cooking Gluten-Free/Casein-Free (GFCF) for Justin. Thirteen years ago, when I became a mother, I knew I wanted to feed my children healthy, nutritious meals. It has always been important to me to have my children eat whatever I cook for them, be thankful for their meals, and to eat as a family. This made going GFCF much easier--because I already had the basis down for cooking healthy and cooking often.

Before I even knew Justin had Autism, I remember him having food aversions and major feeding issues. He didn't feel the food in his mouth so he would overstuff, or swallow before his food was chewed (causing choking). I worked very hard with a feeding therapist to help Justin with this when he was very little. He would also gag on certain textures. I would have to do "dinner therapy" just to get that texture back into his diet. I don't know what kept me determined--but I was, and I am so glad now! I have always "experimented" with nutritious foods on my children and they are such good sports about it--but none of them compare to Justin. He is my ROCKSTAR of all eaters. I can put together the craziest combinations and he will always eat them. Thank God I got him used to this when he was younger. It has made my job so much easier and has afforded Justin the best possible nutrition on a GFCF diet--which makes me feel good!

Since we eat a lot of greens, GF grains and veggies that most of our friends haven't heard of--I guess it's reasonable for Justin to mistake what he finds in the outdoors as a food item {hee-hee}. Here's some pictures of what he tried out the other day...

{Hmmm...looks like it could be good} "Mom...is this gluten-free?"

"Doesn't smell bad"

"Let's try it out. Nope--not food. It's just a pine cone."

Fall Break-Day Two...

Okay, day two wasn't so bad. Maybe this Fall Break thing won't be so scary after all. Maybe, just maybe we will make it through to the end of the week without me being totally exhausted. I have to say that I am feeling just a tad bit happier with myself that I let the laundry and dishes go today to spend that extra time engulfed in the moments of my three boys.

Here's some of the highlights of day two...

Justin and Jayce started off the day with lowering Justin's bed to the floor to create their own indoor trampoline.

Then a little while later I heard giggling in my bedroom and found them doing this...

Boys definitely know how to take this bed jumping thing to a whole new level (or two...or three)!

That evening, it was SCARY STORY NIGHT. We set up a tent in the living room and each told a scary story.

It's funny how something so simple and FREE can bring so much fun to all my kids. We had a blast doing this and laughing hysterically at the things each one was coming up with as their scary story.

I love how intently Justin and Jayce are listening to Jacob's scary story.

The Scariest Part of October

is not Halloween...

It's Fall Break {yikes}!

Here's Day One:

We started our entertainment by spending time at the greenbelt and canal getting dirty...

Then as the sun went down...

We headed back to the house for our

Glo-Stick Dance Party!

The kids had so much fun with this party. Here's a clip of some dancing (be sure to pause my music at the bottom of this blog before you press play)...

The Perfect Blend...

I love it when I see signs of this youngest child of mine growing into his own

God purposefully hand-picked the best parts of Joel and myself and blended them to make a wonderful little Jayce.

He is incredibly intellectual way beyond his years (dad); his attention to detail leaves one perplexed (dad); he has a very strong will that leaves me exhausted but comes in handy when under control (dad)

Underneath the layers of strong will, he has a heart of gold (mom); his love and care for another person is remarkable (mom); if he's willing to let his guard down, his light will shine bright to reveal amazing and insurmountable talent (mom & dad)

I wonder what he will be when he grows up. The world is his--I know he'll make the most of it.

A Look Back On Going GFCF

Remembering when I started the Gluten-Free/Casein-Free Diet

Fortunately for us, while Joel was in medical school, he learned enough about the affects of dairy on our little ones that he convinced me to take dairy out of Justin’s diet when he was about 1 ½ years old. I remember that was when Justin “woke up” in our eyes. He made leaps and bounds of improvement. It took a lot longer for Joel to convince me to go gluten-free with Justin. Now that I look back on it, I kick myself for not doing it sooner.

I remember thinking that this was going to be the “Miracle Cure” and that Justin was going to be calm, a good listener, sit still long enough for me to hug him, etc. Not the case. The first week was the week from hell!

Two days into the diet, Justin was getting really angry. He wasn't sleeping; getting into everything; saying every bad word he could think of (like stupid mommy and shut up and you poop); breaking things; and ripping things. Just really angry.

He even managed to do this to his room during "naptime"...





The fourth day was even worse. He started repeating things over and over like "the birdie says hi, the birdie says hi". Just random things. By the end of the first week, he was off the charts B.A.D. He acted like I gave him CRACK. He was soooooo high, I couldn't believe it. I was in tears and ready to give him as much gluten as I could find just to get him to stop.

We were driving and amongst the angry screaming, yelling and throwing shoes at me, I heard a small voice that said, "remember...I'm in this with you. If you would just ask, I'll help you". I got quiet for a moment while driving and desperately asked God for help with what to do.

We got home and I took Justin into a room and sat him on my lap. I looked in his eyes and noticed something I haven't seen since he was a baby--NORMAL PUPILS. Justin has had massively dilated pupils since he was one year old. Every doctor noted it and was concerned but didn't know what it meant. Could this be a sign that the "drug effect of gluten" is wearing off?

I then took Justin outside for a walk. Families were taking their dogs to the greenbelt to let them burn off energy so I thought I would do the same for Justin. This is a child that can't walk 10 paces without getting tired. So I thought I would tire him out quickly and put him to bed. Wrong!!! The sprinklers were on (this is a mile-long greenbelt) and Justin took off for them. I wanted to run after him, but I just sat back and observed. It was glorious!

This child of mine who gets tired out easily and who hates water sprinkling on him (he says ouch) was running through the sprinklers screaming on the top of his lungs "woo-hoo". He even took his shirt off and let the sprinkles hit his skin. HE DID THIS FOR AN HOUR. He looked and acted like he had been let out of a cage. Truthfully,He has! He's been in a mental cage for so long it probably feels so good to be free. On the way back, Justin could feel the wind blowing on him and he was giggling and screaming "the wind, the wind, I love the wind". In the past he hated the wind. He would say the wind was hurting him.

That night, Justin didn't go to bed until 9:00 pm, 2 hours past his bedtime. He was so wired that when I gave him a bath, he was spinning in circles as fast as he could in the bathtub. He was so excited. It truly was a miracle to watch.

I thank God for giving me a different perspective in which to look at that day. I thought Justin was just making my life miserable, but that was because I was only thinking of myself. When I was able to look at it from Justin's perspective, I was able to see that he was so excited to be free that he wanted to enjoy every moment of it.

When I asked Joel why Justin would get worse if this diet was supposed to make him better, he said it's because he was going through withdrawal. Just like someone addicted to drugs. They go through withdrawal, and are very angry, then they feel great.

It's amazing to see a complete transformation in Justin's FACE...











And tickles me pink to capture a true, loving hug exchanged between brothers!